Do You Have to Drag Your Toddler to Get Somewhere?
How We Can Be Guides for our Children to Follow the Montessori Way
Do you feel like you are dragging your toddler to get anywhere or you are butting heads with each new step you try to take? How can we possibly get our toddlers to work with us and not against us?
Learning from Maria
While the Montessori method is a comprehensive educational philosophy used in classrooms, its founder, Maria Montessori, offers valuable insights for parents. Her teachings help us understand our children better: what they need, what they're trying to communicate before they can speak, and how we can move through life together peacefully.
This is the essence of parenting – knowing our children better than they know themselves and anticipating their needs. It means being out front with wisdom and knowledge, inviting them to follow. While it may seem daunting, reaching a place of peaceful interactions with your young child is achievable. You don't need to be a Montessori expert – you just need to take it one step at a time.
Reimagining Our Role: Parents
Think of yourself as a guide to your child – and know that your child wants to follow you. As a parent, you're a special kind of guide, different from teachers, caregivers, or other family members.
Children naturally want to follow and learn from others. A guide:
- Leads from the front, rather than pushing from behind
- Differs from an authority figure who simply gives orders
- Is not just a friend (who's on the same level)
- Goes beyond a teacher who provides instructions
None of these roles fully encompass what it means to be a parent. While "guide" comes closest, parenting also includes a unique relational intimacy. As guides, we go before our children, preparing the way and inviting them to join us in discovering life's best experiences.
A Mindset Shift
Think of yourself as a guide to your child – and know that your child wants to follow you. As a parent, you're a special kind of guide, different from teachers, caregivers, or other family members.
Children naturally want to follow and learn from others. A guide:
- Leads from the front, rather than pushing from behind
- Differs from an authority figure who simply gives orders
- Is not just a friend (who's on the same level)
- Goes beyond a teacher who provides instructions
None of these roles fully encompass what it means to be a parent. While "guide" comes closest, parenting also includes a unique relational intimacy. As guides, we go before our children, preparing the way and inviting them to join us in discovering life's best experiences.
Beyond These Early Years
While we start with fundamentals like eating and sleeping, the guiding approach you establish now prepares both you and your child for the journey ahead. As your children grow, you'll guide them through increasingly complex life lessons:
- Building friendships
- Being a good sibling
- Honoring grandparents
- Making thoughtful choices
- Managing money
The trust you build in these early years creates a foundation for the future. By showing your toddler that you trust them to follow your guidance now – rather than dragging them along – you establish a pattern that will serve you both as the lessons become more challenging. When you need to guide them through the complexities of adolescence and young adulthood, they'll already be accustomed to looking to you as a trusted guide.
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